About a year ago, we were introduced to a virus known as COVID–19, which caused a pandemic drastically affecting our lifestyle and forcing us to make changes that will resonate for a lifetime. Trying to avoid the wrath of COVID-19 has caused many of us to become socially isolated, often having limited face-to-face contact with others. Because of the serious and sometimes fatal aspect of the illness, there is an underlying fear of contracting it. This fear can cause anxiety and depression endemic to the virus.
No doubt, we are living through difficult times, causing some women to feel a plethora of emotions. As a result, many have resorted to using Zoom to cope and fill in social gaps by engaging in activities we might not otherwise have considered.
One Zoom activity I have written about previously is Walking Our Talk (WOT). It’s a nonprofit group where women of all ages, races, religions, educational backgrounds, and economic statuses have the opportunity to express themselves in a welcoming environment, free of underlying judgment that might cause shame. Governed by a set of written agreements, we are guided by the principles of confidentiality, committed presence, and self-love. We cultivate empowerment and take responsibility, and learn from each other a culture of caring. This provides an environment of honor, honesty, and respect that results in a sense of greater well-being.
WOT, which currently includes around 350 members, stands apart from other women’s groups because of two main components: self-directed projects and buddies. Women take on a project exclusive to their own interests, agendas and visions. In order to receive additional support with projects, buddies are assigned each week, providing a one-on-one experience with other women. As a result of the buddy system, many women have formulated friendships outside of WOT.
Prior to the pandemic, WOT women met face-to-face, sitting in a circle. Given the nature of the times, this is not possible, and we now meet via Zoom. However, the circle is not only physical but symbolic of a place where women can be authentic and highly connected to each other.
Some of things women have said about about WOT: “I can show up as who I am.” “I can make mistakes and it’s OK.” “We can agree and disagree by holding each other in the highest regard.” “Circle provides me with reciprocal support.” “I get motivated outside of my experience with circle to tackle a great deal.” “The women in circle are so inspiring, allowing me to feel empowered and competent.” More personal stories are below.
Eileen Quinn
Eileen Quinn of Cheshire is a circle facilitator and, like many of us, continues to make lifestyle changes in reaction to the pandemic. She originally joined WOT prior to COVID-19 to reconnect with existing friends and meet new ones. Her project during the pandemic was to write a story about a chronic health condition from which she was able to find relief using alternative medicine. Quinn spoke of her determination to write about her experiences, but did not know how to start.
One of the many great aspects of circle is that women are able to express needs, wants, and gifts. Participants not only let others know what they can give, they let it be known what they need. In Quinn’s situation, she needed a writing coach and was comfortable asking for help from a circle of women willing and able to step in. Fortunately, there was someone able to respond to her “need.” Writing the story helped her cope with the pandemic since her spirits, darkened by COVID-19, lifted as she achieved her goal. She also made a new friend in her writing coach, someone who was initially a stranger but who offered to help Quinn with what seemed like an impossible task.
Quinn found the courage to do something she had never done before, thus exposing a vulnerable side of herself she might otherwise have kept hidden. She took a risk with other women who were also showing their vulnerabilities. In circle, no one fails. Projects are done at an individual’s chosen pace, with an open-ended completion date — a true work in progress. Some women may change or evolve their projects. Quinn is grateful to the women of WOT, and she welcomes the women she has befriended who have supported her, provided feedback and, most importantly, reserved judgment and acted kindly towards her.
Janis Bowersox
Janis Bowersox of Lee, a seasoned member of WOT, has spent the last year adjusting to her new COVID lifestyle. Pre-pandemic, she took yearly trips to India to volunteer at a children’s home, creating art projects and taking children to the dental clinic. Unfortunately, the virus made this year’s trip impossible. Missing her overseas service work, Bowersox found her way to a WOT group in anticipation it would fill the gap of time she now faced.
Unsure what type of project to take on, Bowersox decided to follow her internal energy or light. Specifically, she was looking for what gave her hope and inspiration, and a way to be mindful of the beauty of the moment, blocking out the past and future. She worked on puzzles, read books, and created art. She eventually focused exclusively on her artwork and painting rocks. Bowersox purchased an art cart, which she felt broke down the barrier to creating.
Having weekly checks-ins with the other women in circle helped a great deal. “The circle held me accountable to my self-imposed deadlines, which were augmented with weekly buddy talks,” Bowersox said. “Weekly meetings filled a hole, created by the pandemic, in an environment that is authentic, with no pressure to fix anyone else … no advice giving or judgments. In a WOT circle, we are real. There are no superficial conversations and no gossiping.”
Often the projects completed by women in WOT benefit not only themselves, but family, friends, and the community. Bowersox found joy searching for rocks in streams and on the beach, and has inspired other WOT women to join her in weekly virtual art classes. In addition, she wants to gift her rocks to friends and family, and plans on leaving them in community parks or at public gatherings. She can’t wait to return to India to share her art with the children she misses.
Jill Fleming
Jill Fleming of Great Barrington, a longtime WOT member, was originally referred by a friend and has worked on many projects. During the most recent circle, Fleming chose to examine her finances in greater detail in order to discover how best to budget her money. She used Kate Northrup’s book “Money: A Love Story,” which examines personal spending habits and how best to use financial resources through completing written exercises. The project was more structured than most and seemed like a daunting task, despite’s Fleming’s enthusiasm to take it on. However, Fleming found the women in circle offered her the much-needed accountability and encouragement she asked for, allowing her to stay focused on her project. She was able to successfully complete the necessary exercises so she could arrange an appointment with her financial planner.
Fleming said it is empowering to declare a project: “Projects can be an opportunity to advocate for self, become more self-aware, and increase opportunity to learn something more about self.” Furthermore, Fleming pointed out, “projects don’t have to be a grand slam.” As a result of her experience with WOT, Fleming developed a business as a relationship coach, helping women with self-awareness and boundary setting. “Hearing the struggles of other women increased my urge to help others,” she said.
Julia Kaplan
Julia Kaplan of Pittsfield, a frequent attendee of WOT circles, focused on physical activity and self-care, recognizing that having a healthy body and mind was more important than ever during COVID-19. Kaplan chose walking as her project, to avoid a sedentary lifestyle. She took advantage of the fact that walking is one of the safest activities during the pandemic and, with special precautions, can be done with others.
With the support of circle, she started a walking group. The interest thus far has been steady, so Kaplan regularly has a walking partner. She walks several days a week and, if alone, will chat with another WOT woman as she walks. “I put my AirPods in and call someone to take a virtual walk with me,” she said. Because the biggest problem for Julia during the pandemic has been social isolation, having other women to socialize with has been a lifesaver.
Kaplan said her decision not to hibernate during the pandemic is in large part due to the support she has received in circle. She was able to verbalize clearly her needs and wants regarding her project and was met with overwhelming support. Furthermore, having accountability helped. Knowing there was a weekly opportunity to update other women on her progress resulted in such a transformation of health that she no longer takes any medication. Her COVID-19 anxiety is gone and she has lost weight, bringing her BMI within normal range.
Final comments
Women are joining WOT because of its reputation for assisting them in many aspects of personal growth, most notably through self-directed projects. It is a forum where much can be learned and applied, inside and outside of the group. WOT is always welcoming new members to become part of its ever-growing local and out-of-state network of women.
To learn more about WOT and its upcoming daytime and evening 8-week spring circles, visit the Walking our Talk website.
Please note: Two upcoming introductory circles will be offered via Zoom on Thursday, March 4 and Monday March 15, from 6:30-8:30 p.m. These free circles provide an overview of how WOT operates, with opportunities to register for spring circles. The next round of Zoom circles begins the third week of March.
