“The Flamingo” glides into Amherst Cinema tomorrow evening as part of their Bellwether Film Series, which “celebrates fresh approaches to fiction, non-fiction and experimental cinema.”
What’s more, director Adam Sekuler joins the post-film conversation in person, too. For true documentary film lovers, Sekuler’s perceptive style strikes me as the real deal. For example, he currently teaches journalism and media production at the University of Michigan–Dearborn.
And now, for your consideration: “The Flamingo” introduces us to Mary Phillips in this 78-minute observational documentary. Let me be frank: There is definitely something about Mary.
When the film opens, Mary is undressed, nuzzling the nape of an undressed younger woman’s neck. She is also in the midst of her BDSM practice.
“Grace and Frankie” this is not. And yet, Mary is definitely aging with pleasure.
Other parallels include Phillips eventually sharing how she was married for 23 years and faithful to her husband the entire time. She casually discloses a 13-year post-divorce period of celibacy, too.
Like the rest of us, her free spirit encounters the pandemic. One thing leads to another until Mary reinvents herself and breaks through so much isolation.
As she charts a new course, Mary interacts with people of different ages and backgrounds. She embraces kink and talks of family. She holds fireside chats and sleeps with a teddy bear.
She also meets the same married man for negotiated, consensual intimacy every so often, a man she talks to and texts with all the time. She unpacks her sex toys while narrating how she and the man met. Which makes me wonder: Am I the only one who did not know older women host dungeon parties?
Anyway, Mary is affectionate and caring in a way Sekuler captures close-up. She exudes a cool, clothing-optional, grandmotherly vibe as well as a hipster, maternal instinct toward her younger partners. Truly, this flamingo is a rare bird.
Because she is so lovable and loved in “The Flamingo,” I wanted to know her whole life story, which goes beyond the film’s scope. Still, Sekuler and Phillips invite viewers to see aspects of aging, sexuality, and mutual care not consistently visible to the outside world.
I also thought about two older adults I admire for their bold self-assurance: Frances McDormand and John Waters. I practically heard them chattering away as I watched this film, given their general “zero ducks” attitudes toward conformity and propriety.
At the same time, Mary’s nurturing ways infuse the entire film. You will hear this right away when she talks about an 87-year-old widower with whom she connects. You will recognize it again when she describes her relationship with her daughter and her grandchild. Of course, Sekuler’s intimate camerawork reflects his labor of love, too: “The Flamingo” was filmed over six years.
Catch this movie in the Happy Valley tomorrow night; its next screening is in February… in Helsinki!
