Sometimes I have revelations about gardening at the oddest moments. I did not expect to be rethinking my relationship with plants at a municipal government conference in Boston while listening to Tim Shriver talk about the need for dignity and respect in the political arena. As a matter of fact, I was filled with some skepticism about the idea of learning from the next generation of Kennedys—and I assumed he had been invited to speak more because of his family’s connection to Massachusetts government than because he had something to share with the audience.
His project, the Dignity Index, rates our reaction to the beliefs of others on an eight-point scale from contempt to dignity. His talk focused on having meaningful conversations across the aisle and trying to respect a perspective that does not align with –and is often in exact opposition to — one’s own. This is not an easy task in the political times we inhabit but he argues it is essential to moving things forward. His talk was the opposite of the rallying speech that followed from Elizabeth Warren, where she focused all of her attention on what appears to be her archenemy, and in some ways felt far more effective.
I could not help but think about how his take could also temper approaches to gardening that seem to be in opposition to one another. The native plant movement often seems to be focused solely on keeping out non-native plants, regardless of their virtues or performance in the garden. (Shriver talks about how somewhere in the middle of the spectrum from disdain to respect, we talk about the other side not belonging before we try to see their virtues). And discussions about organic versus non-organic gardening techniques can get volatile even in a room of relatively likeminded horticulturists. Perhaps we all should try to hear what the other side is saying. (Shriver talks about the assumption that the other side has nothing positive to share and how this leaves us feeling sanctimonious and right, all the while closing ourselves off to ideas that might work well for us.)
But, for me, his talk also took me somewhere else: to analyzing the plants that I choose for the garden and those that I eschew. The celandine poppy, a native with bright yellow flowers, sows wildly in my garden and I tend to rip it out as it comes up, partly because it is somewhat aggressive, but also because it is yellow, not one of my favorite flower colors. Maybe I should look at its merits and allow it to have a place in the garden, particularly in areas that are not fully cultivated and could use some infill—something this species provide quite nicely by self-seeding.
By giving plants the respect they deserve and seeing them in their totality, perhaps I could give a place in my garden to a number of plants, even when they have bright pink or red flowers, which I often tend to shy away from (I am not the most colorful person). Opening ourselves up to things that don’t immediately align with our values can bring in plants that bring other virtues with them—like the sweet strawberry-pineapple fragrance of the maroon red flowers of calycanthus, or the way a common white pine can provide a hint of green in the middle of a winter snow.
At the end of his talk, Tim Shriver talks about the end of the spectrum where we afford things the most dignity and how it really connects us to love. With any luck, I may have some newfound love and respect for some plants that I used to treat with disdain or indifference. Who knows, maybe I will learn not to judge a plant or a Kennedy, until I have allowed myself to see the potential virtues of what stands before me.
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A gardener grows through observation, experimentation, and learning from the failures, triumphs, and hard work of oneself and others. In this sense, all gardeners are self-taught, while at the same time intrinsically connected to a tradition and a community that finds satisfaction through working the soil and sharing their experiences with one another. This column explores those relationships and how we learn about the world around us from plants and our fellow gardeners.
