This is a reflection about mothers and others, about the evolution of health care across generations, and about maternal activists.
After absorbing the horrendous details of Jahaira DeAlto’s murder last Sunday, I thought of the transgender people I know. Unlike Jahaira, all were identified as female at birth and most have transitioned toward masculinity and/or maleness. One is still in the process, having just jettisoned his deadname on Instagram in favor of his new name, Logan.
I spoke with Shayn and Lee, whose compassion and insight make me feel bullish (pun intended) about our collective LGBTQ future, even as we all mourn this wicked tragedy. And I recalled a student intern of eight years ago, who half-joked then that he was transitioning from female to male in order to reverse-engineer the gender wage gap. Finally, I thought about Moses, as old as he is. He and I are conversant in the “Camp Trans” controversy of the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival because we were both there when it happened.
Jahaira’s own transition happened when she was 16, back in the mid ’90s. For historical reference, the American Psychiatric Association first acknowledged a gender spectrum at roughly the same time. Fast forward to this past Tuesday, when Transhealth Northampton officially opened its doors as the first independent, comprehensive trans health care center nationwide. The arc of the health care universe is long, but it genderbends toward quality, safety, and specialty.
While I did not know Jahaira, watching her in this live storytelling hour with BCC alumni felt like the exact opposite of social distancing; here she was in my living room exuding oodles and oodles of joie de vivre. Trust me, a simple jaunt around the Firefox will likely reveal a whole new world both unforgettably inspiring and fiercely courageous.
That she was also studying social work as a member of the Simmons University Class of 2023 was no surprise. That she will never again guest lecture at Columbia University’s School of Social Work, this I find spiritually devastating.
And yet, Jahaira DeAlto was also a mother. She belonged to a rich tradition of transgender activists who broadened and deepened the motherhood spectrum during the last public health crisis, HIV/AIDS, otherwise known as “the plague.” Fortunately for all of us, the FX series “POSE” dramatizes New York’s underground ballroom culture from that era. Jahaira was a member of the House of Balenciaga in the Boston ballroom community. It is haunting to read her words from exactly one year ago on this very topic, but do read them and let them sink in.
Finally, this late-breaking news is proof to me that Jahaira’s mission was a success, one for which the whole community is grateful and indebted, and why we will forever hold her in our hearts. Rest in power, Jahaira: love wins.
