To the Editor:
Something strange happened on the evening that the candidate with the best skill set and greatest experience was supposed to be elected to the position of Chief Executive of Canton, Ohio. Instead of his victory, I am scratching my head (which already hurts from slapping my forehead so many times) and trying to figure out how a neophyte journeyman was able to delay the anointment of His Holiness Pius Maximus Tomaso TB12 from his throne.
It was a foregone Conclusion, an undeniable Truth, that we here in New England were better than all the rest. Now in the meeting rooms on the Bio-Tech corridor of Cambridge and the Ivy League dorms, they are crying into their lattes and mochachinos while trying to figure out what happened. Perhaps if cornerback Malcolm Butler (the Bernie Sanders of our tale) were on the field, the result may have been different. Or if Malcolm Jenkins (the James Comey of this saga) had not speared Brandin Cooks with a highly dubious tackle we all would be happily slurping our chowdah and Sam Adams lagers.
But instead it is the coal miners and steel workers of The Keystone State, who are still unemployed, but getting to savor the victory of their Guy — the Underdog. Surely The Boston Globe that confidently assured me that this Nowhere Man could never beat our Prince Charming with the inflated (now deflated) ego must now admit to spreading Fake News.
At least the quarterback of the Eagles will not be polluting our environment, aside from a few cars he caused to be flipped over. He will not be transferring wealth to any billionaires, aside from Jeff Lurie, the Eagles owner. And he won’t be threating to attack North Korea, pull out of NATO and every other trade agreement and organization. He won’t be trampling voting rights, women’s rights, and gay rights. Nevertheless, it seems that he has stolen our bragging rights. Very strange.
Charles J. Ferris
500 Main St. – Suite 1
Great Barrington, Mass.