Hello Tori, Kamala here
I just got off the debate stage, and I am asking you to chip in $5 now to help us beat Donald Trump.
Also, grab a case of prosecco for the after-party, yes? You arrived empty-handed to the post-Convention speech bash, and people noticed.
Reply SURE THING, KAMALA
It’s Robert Reich.
Rachel, we just made a video calling out JD Vance’s lies. He’s a working-class phony. Watch & share HERE. And HERE’s a pic from Steven’s bar mitzvah I thought your mom would enjoy.
Stop2Quit … Getting Free Copies of my Books
Hi Jenny, Katherine here.
Extreme MAGA Republicans are funneling millions of dollars into vulnerable Democratic-held districts with negative attacks.
I believe your dear father, Frank, is among them? Be a shame if something should happen to disseminate that information within the student government community at UC Berkeley. $10. That’s it. Ten. Dollars.
Katherine Smith
Reply STOP to THROW OUT YOUR SHOT AT UPWARD MOBILITY
Tim Walz here.
Our freedoms are under attack, and I need YOUR help to protect them, friend. Can you chip in $25 today?
For your part, Jim, you’ll need ME, as the soon-to-be second-most powerful person on earth, to protect the federally subsidized stadium in which your favorite sports team plays.
STOP to END Your Hopes for A Strong Vikings Season
Evite here with Exciting News!
You are invited to “Julie’s Postcards-to-Undecided-PA-Voters Party” on October 2 at 7 p.m. at Julie’s house.
To Regret this Invitation, Text I UNDERSTAND THAT I AM NOW DEAD TO JULIE
Hi Louis!
I’m Barbara, a volunteer with Team Kamala. Also food service director at your daughter’s pre-school. I wanted to invite you to show your support for Kamala by making calls with our team. We have phone banks going all weekend, so when is best for you?
It’s safe to assume you don’t have plans since it’s no longer summer vacation and kids like yours are too little for organized sports, so I’m just gonna put you down for 2-5 Sunday.
STOP to ENSURE AMELIA NEVER GETS THE PINK CUP AT LUNCH AGAIN
YES, ROB! For the next 60 minutes, we’re 600% matching all donations to CRUSH TRUMP’S CAMPAIGN!
YOUR DOLLARS HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE IMPORTANT! EXCEPT FOR THE TIME WE RAN OUT OF GAS IN THE MIDDLE OF UTAH AND YOU GAVE THAT TRUCKER FIFTY BUCKS TO BRING US INTO TOWN. BUT THIS TIME IS THE SECOND-MOST IMPORTANT TIME!
Text WHY GOD? to receive your texts in lower case
Hello, it’s Kleen Cleaners.
Your clothes are ready to pick up, provided you can provide receipt of a recent payment to the Democratic National Committee, Act Blue, the Harris Victory Fund, MoveOn, or the ASPCA.
Robert Reich here, again
I wouldn’t be back here texting you for the eighth time this week if you’d followed my simple instructions the first through seventh times. As it is, I have reported your Stop2Quit message (RUDE), as well as your persistent FAILURE to support our efforts to save America from tyranny.
Text MEACULPA and I’ll see what I can do to call off NSA surveillance
‘Sup, girl? It’s MC Hammer.
Got a new one for you.
What did the cook say to the toddler crawling toward the stove?
U Can’t Touch This
Nice, right?
Nah, for real, they asked me to ask you: you seriously don’t have $5? FIVE DOLLARS. Come on.
2Legit2Quit
Natalie Jane, this is Barack Obama.
I’ve been informed that you have not donated a single dollar to Save Democracy since I first asked you nicely on June 30th.
We know you donated $100 to the GoFundMe for the little girl with leukemia last month, and that you just spent $85 on Indian takeout ‘cause you didn’t feel like making dinner, so don’t give me that “I can’t afford it” crap.
Do you WANT Donald Trump to win?
To END text NATALIEJANEUNDERSTANDSWHATTHISMEANSFORHERETERNALSOUL
Donald Trump here.
We got your number from the Harris people. They say they’re done with you and you’re one of us now.
Welcome to MAGA World, Lucy! You can expect your twenty-by-thirty-foot TRUMP WON flag within two to four business days, and your Doug Emhoff pinãta shortly thereafter.
Text IHATETAYLORSWIFT to donate $10
Alaska Air:
We’re anticipating long TSA lines at JFK starting tomorrow. We recommend arriving eight hours before your flight.
It seems approximately 70% of the mainland American population is decamping to Denali National Park to escape the remainder of the Presidential Election Season 2024.
Reply STOP to forfeit your family’s designated campsite.
