As you know, supporters of the former president recently adopted a new, thoughtful, very wonky slogan to express their point of view about the current president’s policy positions: “F*ck Joe Biden.” Which, for reasons explained below, is sometimes referred to euphemistically as “Let’s Go Brandon!”
At first it seemed like a crude joke: Surely the sophisticated political theorists who took a break from reading Foreign Policy magazine and transcripts of American Political Science Association general meetings to put “F*ck Joe Biden” bumper stickers on their vehicles and giant “F*ck Joe Biden” flags and banners in their yards don’t intend to actually have carnal relations with the president. Who is, after all, happily married, usually quite busy, and not known for engaging in that type of activity with those not his wife — including adult-film stars who are paid handsomely to sign post-coital nondisclosure agreements.
But, what if they do? And what if that’s precisely the brilliance of their innovative, never-before-tried political strategy? Stay with me here.
Though reasonably vibrant for a 79-year-old man, it’s safe to assume that anyone, of any age, who has sexual relations with hundreds of thousands or millions of people over a relatively short period of time could suffer from a level of exhaustion that would prevent that person from carrying out his or her duties — presidential or otherwise. Not to mention the sheer amount of time involved, which would be substantial even if the challenge was tackled in what we might call “groups.”
And that’s clearly the goal: Rather than advance a specific policy agenda of bold ideas to address enormous problems like the global pandemic, runaway climate change, and widespread economic insecurity — and minor ones, like the end of representative democracy — just keep President Biden too busy and exhausted to work on advancing his agenda.
Because, as someone who’s tried, let me tell you: It’s not possible to multitask in this particular, um, context. That is, to engage intimately with person after person after person (and perhaps also groups of persons) while simultaneously, say, organizing allies to warn Putin off Ukraine, or successfully passing a bill to invest a trillion dollars in our nation’s failing infrastructure, or assembling a team to oversee the vaccination of hundreds of millions of Americans, or, in my case, scrolling through Twitter at an inappropriate moment.
So, instead of dismissing something chanted rudely at ball parks and plastered oh-so-stylishly on all manner of activewear and drinking vessels, consider instead its dangerous elegance. As they do so well, Republicans have simplified things into a single, powerful slogan. Indeed, “F*ck Joe Biden” shows that Democrats are once again losing at checkers while Republicans master three-dimensional chess — like when Kirk surprised an overconfident Spock in a moment for the ages. And when losing this game could very well end with a fascist authoritarian state, well, you really want your head in the (right) game.
That’s why you also shouldn’t believe that the alternate, FCC-safe version of this message — “Let’s Go Brandon” — is just a winking minced oath that says exactly the same thing. Media reports say that it was the result of a misheard crowd chant at a race won by NASCAR driver Brandon Brown.
Sorry, no. Because the acronym for “Let’s Go Brandon” — LGB — clearly stands for “lesbian, gay, bisexual,” which represent at least some of the sexual orientations of people who will, upon full execution of this pioneering presidency-undermining campaign, get to know President Biden quite well and distract him from his job. That can’t possibly be the result of an accident or misheard crowd chant. No, it’s additional and essential information about the plan.
No doubt they knew that “Let’s Go Brandon!” would be yet another message easily misunderstood by snooty, effete, windsurfing, Wordle-playing, “minced oath”-labeling, East-and-West Coast liberal public-policy nerds like me, whose ears are not attuned to the real meaning of the words and slogans deployed by the former president and his followers.
Another example: When the former president told Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger, “I just want to find 11,780 votes, which is one more than we have,” many didn’t understand that he actually meant, “I’d like to spend a range of years, the precise number to be determined by someone who wears a black robe at work, in the great state of Georgia. Ideally this will be in a very secure building where three meals a day are provided.”
Fortunately, COVID protocols currently stand in the way of millions of people engaging with President Biden in a way that would tire him out and surely derail his presidency. For now. This effort won’t disappear — like a miracle, as someone once said — with the end of the pandemic.
So, don’t ignore the multi-layered sophistication of the ongoing “F*ck Joe Biden” strategy. Even without the expletive, the president’s name alone summarizes the core of a dangerous plan to distract him from his work. How? Rearrange the letters in “Joe Biden” and you get “Be Joined,” and, well, it’s not hard to see what that means.
Bill Shein is chief creative officer at EuphiTastic, Inc., a Fortune 100,000 company that develops innovative euphemisms, acronyms, and anagrams for politicians and corporations worldwide. Engage his services via Twitter @MyLibraryYear.
