“I believe that taking periodic breaks from the news can promote mental calm and help renew your spirits. In this way, the anxiety and overstimulation catalyzed by the media may be minimized, and your body will function better.” —Dr. Andrew Weil, the bushy-bearded, alternative-medicine doc, proposing “news fasts” in his 1995 book “Spontaneous Healing.”
REGULAR PERSON: What’s unfolding in Ukraine is unbelievable. It happened so fast, it’s shocking and awful, and I can’t stop watching the news and reading about it all day long. I’m exhausted.
PERSON ON A NEWS FAST: What?
REGULAR PERSON: It’s just horrible. The humanitarian crisis is heartbreaking, sometimes I just burst into tears. What if the war spreads across Europe? Or worse? Putin has nuclear weapons!
PERSON ON A NEWS FAST: What?
REGULAR PERSON: And I hope there’s not another coronavirus variant anytime soon. Just as COVID starts to wane — for now — a terrifying war breaks out. Can’t we get a break? I’m not sure I can take any more. My neck is so stiff, I can barely turn my head.
PERSON ON A NEWS FAST (playing Sudoku): What?
REGULAR PERSON: And don’t get me started on threats to our democracy. Can you believe these new voting laws in Texas, Georgia, and elsewhere? Creating confusion and designed to keep people from voting? All fueled by Trump’s metastatic Big Lie about the 2020 election? Oh my god, look at my arm. Those hives weren’t there a minute ago.
PERSON ON A NEWS FAST (smiling at a beam of sunlight warming a kitten asleep on some laundry): What?
REGULAR PERSON: And now they’re banning books about sexuality, gender, and racism! And passing laws that could send teachers and librarians to jail. My mouth tastes like metal.
PERSON ON A NEWS FAST: What?
REGULAR PERSON: What?
PERSON ON A NEWS FAST: What?
REGULAR PERSON: And what if Trump is reelected in 2024? He just suggested bombing Russia with planes made to look like Chinese aircraft to start a war between Russia and China. This is a serious, dangerous time that’s filled with unserious, dangerous people. I can’t breathe.
PERSON ON A NEWS FAST (gazing at a vase of fresh-cut flowers): What?
REGULAR PERSON: And just this morning I read about the massive mental-health crisis in America, made much worse during COVID. Stress, anxiety, grief, loneliness, isolation, uncertainty, sleeping problems, and more. Our kids are suffering, we’re suffering, everyone’s suffering. I wake up from nightmares every night at 3 a.m. And why are my feet always cold?
PERSON ON A NEWS FAST: What?
REGULAR PERSON: And now a war that’s broadcast 24/7, scenes of real-life violence played on infinite loop, delivered by the networks almost like entertainment, interspersed with commercials for Downy and personal-finance apps and restaurants serving all-you-can-eat chicken tenders. It’s jarring to see war, entertainment, and commercials intermingled that way. It’s like no one read Neil Postman’s “Amusing Ourselves to Death.”
PERSON ON A NEWS FAST: What? Who?
REGULAR PERSON: In his 1985 book, Postman compared George Orwell’s “1984” to Aldous Huxley’s “Brave New World” and, among other insights, concluded that we’ve become exactly what Huxley predicted: “Orwell feared that the truth would be concealed from us. Huxley feared the truth would be drowned in a sea of irrelevance.”
PERSON ON A NEWS FAST: Sorry, did you say something? I was watching people dance in sync on TikTok. Look at them go!
REGULAR PERSON: Uh, Mr. Van Winkle? Do you know that your long, white beard looks just like Dr. Andrew Weil’s long white beard? And that I’ve never seen you together?
PERSON ON A NEWS FAST: Sorry, don’t know anyone named “Weil.” Wait! Is he Dutch? Because the last thing I remember is drinking some liquor from a Dutchman’s keg, playing a few rounds of nine pins, and then falling asleep under this enormous old tree.
REGULAR PERSON: That’s a lovely tree. It’s an ash. I hope it isn’t killed by the invasive emerald ash borer that’s devastating trees across the Berkshires. Why can’t I shake this dull headache?
PERSON ON A NEWS FAST (yawning): What?
Bill Shein doesn’t have a bushy white beard, but over the last few weeks his hair has grayed at twice the usual rate.
