Reasonably, you would expect opinion columnists to have opinions about more than one thing. There is so much going on! To establish my multidimensional columnist bona fides, the one thing I would assuredly not address this week is Housatonic Water Works (HWW) and the Mercers. My work there is done. Time to move on, yada yada yada. I will not permit them to continue to live rent-free in my head. Not going to do it. Time to turn the page.
But for the shipwreck that is HWW, I would have earlier considered an October 22 letter to The Berkshire Eagle editor from an Alford resident (“Mr. Alford”). If you overlooked the letter, let me summarize it for you. Mr. Alford suggested that Great Barrington needs a “comprehensive traffic control strategy.” Well, I am fairly sure the town has a strategy. We do what we can to permit pedestrians to safely cross Main Street, sometimes backing up traffic a bit to the consternation of some, but we are all going to get there in the end, so what’s the hurry?
No, Mr. Alford meant comprehensive. A 14-Point Plan. (Woodrow Wilson’s post-World War I plan also had 14 points, suggesting that is the critical number for important plans.) The following are a few the items in Mr. Alford’s 14-Point Great Barrington Improvement Plan:
- “Building multitier parking decks at Fairview Hospital, the Railroad/Elm Street block and the parking lot across from Berkshire Co-Op.” [Sure, we keep multitier parking structures in stock for just such requests. Just three, or should we toss in a couple more? Did you want those in three or six levels?]
- “Building a traffic circle at Belcher’s Square to alleviate congestion.” [Because one of the few lights in town is one too many? Apologies if we are delaying your trip to the club, but the folks traveling west on Route 23 were hoping to make a quick left.]
- “Widening Silver Street for truck traffic and installing traffic lights to prevent jackknifing.” [Seems to me we should run this by the folks that live on Silver Street first. The only article on the 2024 Town Meeting Warrant voted down sought permission to build a few desperately needed housing units on Silver Street, but surely additional truck traffic will be welcomed.]
- “Installing three-phase traffic lights at all intersections on Division Street to deter drivers from ignoring stop signs.” [And take away all of the fun of driving on Division Street? Killjoy.]
- “Replacing the bridges on Brookside Road and Cottage Street.” [Gosh, that is a clever idea. Yes, a Brookside Road Bridge for all the folks cutoff from town (although Cottage Street Bridge would make a far better park). Thanks for the tip.]
- “Investing in traffic improvements instead of tourist advertising.” [Because, if you build multitier parking decks and traffic circles, they will come.]
The list goes on, but you get the idea. Mr. Alford spent considerable time considering various ways Great Barrington can improve itself. Who does not love to be told ways one can improve?
As one does, I ran Mr. Alford’s 14-point plan by an elected town official. The official noted Mr. Alford’s plan overlooked a critical missing improvement: a toll booth on Alford Road to pay for the improvements. But surely Alford, with its splendid $5.00 mill rate, would happily pay for these improvements without a toll so as not to add to Great Barrington’s burdensome $14.07 mill rate. What Alford resident would not want to shave minutes off a trip to Guido’s? “Give me sustainably sourced caviar quickly or give me death,” right?
Although if memory serves, this is the same Alford that lost Great Barrington library privileges due to a refusal to contribute to the town’s libraries, so maybe we will need that toll booth. Or the town could implement a split tax rate, raising commercial property tax rates, which increased taxes would naturally be passed on by businesses to consumers. So, you know, we can indirectly tax Alford residents by inflating the cost of prosciutto di parma. But the math is tough—how much truffle oil does it take to build a parking structure?
And had HWW not been diverting attention, I would have addressed the sign posted on the Fairgrounds fence just north of Barrington Bagel: “We Want Peace & Quiet. Stop All Military Flyovers!” Got it—training the folks that have pledged to put their lives on the line to protect us should not also disturb our peace! As I understand it, the sign poster’s message is “yes, we want the military on that wall—we need the military on that wall—but quietly, I am trying to read.” And “yes, I knew when I moved to live near an airport that it was an airport, but I did not think the military knew it was an airport. Cessnas, sure, but not Black Hawks.” Besides, what is the point of spending money on radar-evading stealth aircraft if they are not quiet too? All we are saying is “shh.” If you are going to be noisy, please train to defend us “against all enemies, foreign and domestic” someplace else. Which part of “quiet” don’t you understand?
And just as I was going to turn in this column, 100 percent HWW free, The Berkshire Eagle published this quote from HWW owner Jim Mercer: “I would expect that at this point, you would have some direction from the Select Board about ways forward.” Well, that’s interesting, Mr. Mercer. I attended the presentation at Monument Mountain on Monday evening. DPC Engineering presented an evaluation of the costs associated with the purchase of HWW by the town, found here, with the following significant caveat: “Detailed data not available from HWW (usage by customer, billings, line-item Budget, etc.).” It is confounding, Mr. Mercer, that you state you want to sell HWW to the town yet seem to be doing everything possible to impede the town’s purchase.
Mr. Mercer, reliable sources tell me that you would like to sell HWW. And by reliable, I mean you: You sent a letter to everyone informing us that HWW is for sale. So, a bit of advice, because selling something outside of the eminent domain process may be new to you. You need to act like a seller. And by that, I mean you need to provide the town with all the information it needs to evaluate HWW.
Selectboard Chair Steve Bannon said on Monday that the town does not have the information it needs to consider the cost of HWW under the 1897 charter provision granting the town a purchase option. He mentioned that it might take litigation to obtain the necessary information. I have never sold a water utility, but I have helped clients sell companies. I can assure you that none refused to assist a buyer’s due diligence efforts. It is considered poor form, Mr. Mercer, to make a purchaser sue to get the information required to make an informed decision.
It is with apologies that this column was not 100 percent HWW-free. One can only do so much. Dare to dream.
Survey Monkey Question
Here is a link to the following Survey Monkey poll: “Should Alford contribute to the cost to implement the 14-point Great Barrington Comprehensive Traffic Control Strategy?”
Survey Monkey Results
Here is the result of the following recent survey question: “What do you consider to be Great Barrington’s most pressing need: (a) Monument Mountain renovation; (b) bridge repair; or (c) Housatonic Water Works Company purchase?”
Monument Mountain Regional High School renovation? 35 percent
Housatonic Water Works Company purchase? 35 percent
Great Barrington bridge repairs? 30 percent
Days Great Barrington has held Community Access Fees hostage: 241
