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Love is in the air, or in the app

By Sunday, Feb 9, 2020 Life In the Berkshires

It’s Valentine’s Day week and love is in the air — well, in the app, the dating app. Meeting that special someone is no longer an organic process. Rarely do you find that person through a party or chance meeting in a bar. You pre-process through an app, making sure to find THE mate who really fills the bill or has the bills to pay for the date. You can now drill down and find your true match. All these websites have been checked for their current existence.

Let’s start in the culinary area.

GlutenfreeSingles.com “GlutenfreeSingles is a dating, networking, and informative website where you never have to feel alone, awkward, or a burden because you are gluten-free. Our website is a welcoming place where people can find gluten-free dating partners, friends, and activity group.” 

Given that an estimated 3.1 million Americans are gluten-free, there’s a nice chance to meet your true anti-glute or at least to find a great recipe on this site.

SingleswithFoodAllergies.com – “I started Singles with Food Allergies, because I found myself challenged socially. Divorced and ready for a new relationship. I wondered how I would find a guy who would be comfortable in my dairy-free, shellfish-free, and nut-free household. I’m smart, attractive, and determined. I knew that similar men and women were searching, too. After months of preparation, I launched Singles with Food Allergies.”

OK, aside from her shameless personal ad, I hope that all those who break out in hives on a restaurant date can avoid such embarrassment by joining this group.

Refrigerdating.com a service that helps you to find love based on the content of your fridge. … How it works: It’s the inside (of your fridge) that counts. … Refrigerdating will then hook you up with a variation of fridges, of different tastes, to pick and choose from.”

Instead of swapping personal photos, you take a photo of the inside of your refrigerator and swap that. My kids said that rabbits could die in our refrigerator (meaning that with no kids there is virtually no food), I need someone with a supersized, overstuffed tank in their kitchen to get my lips smacking.

HotSaucePassions.coma social network for people who think food is bland if it’s not spicy enough to make their forehead sweat. Why risk hearing “I don’t like spicy food” on a first date, when you know that would be a deal breaker?”

My420mate.com – not exactly food, but it can be. Meet your cannabis-friendly single here. Or be too stoned to care who you meet as long as it is someone.

OK, let’s get a bit kinky:

Feeld.co“Polysexual, Pansexual, Bisexual + 20 more.” A prize will be given to whomever can name the other 20.

PURRsonals.com – for cat lovers. I’m a dog person myself, but this next site is just in preparation for the one that follows and takes the love of animals a bit too far. 

Furrymate.com – This is the site for those who love to dress up as furry cats or other overly hairy non-humans. I suppose if you are a particularly hirsute male (or female) you qualify.

ZombiePassions.comfor zombies, zombie lovers & people who have been working in a dead-end job for too long.” Love this already. So what if their cover page shows a face dripping in blood.

If Zombies don’t turn you on, try VampirePassions.com, afree online dating & social networking site for vampires and vampire lovers. Browse the Vampire Groups to find members based on whether they are into sanguine vampirism or psychic vampirism. Meet other vampiresvampire lovers and even amateur vampire hunters.” Their motto, “Bite Me!”

Bite this! DiaperMates.com – Yes, adults who wear diapers, not out of need but out of desire.

GhostSingles.com: This one really got me . . . a dating site for singles who know how to get a life! Well, an afterlife. Okay, maybe some sort of in-between, nether-world, ethereal existence. But if you’re looking for love, and you’re dead, GhostSingles is the site for you. I guess you do not have to post a photo for this one.

Photo: Nathan Nichols on Unsplash

And now for the more mundane:

Clowndating.com and Clownpassions.com. While that may describe your current love interest, just don a red nose and goofy outfit and call it a night.

SeaCaptaindate.comClaiming to be the number one dating site for masters and commanders”

StachePassions.com – “All About the ‘Stache’. Got a mustache? Love men who do?”  Now if you love women who sport the hairy lip – that’s another site. (Just looked up “women with moustaches and 3,660,000 have recently googled this. Why?)

iwouldbangyou.com – Do you really need an explanation?

MulletPassions.comThey’re back, you’re asking? According to this group, this hair style never went away.

AmishCrush.com – Do the Amish have internet? This is for Amish people only

Twinsrealm.com – Twins meet other twins. So if you do not like your partner, switch. Who would know?

WomenBehindBars.comThey are MUCH safer that way as opposed to . . .now run for the hills, all you Valentine-prone people,…..

Live in the Berkshires and feel you are missing out on all the fun? Absolutely not. As a single you can visit:

FarmersOnly.comHow to raise the food of love, along with those delicious vegetables.

Mingle2.com for “dates, lovers, friendship (if the lover aspect does not work out) or fun.”

MassMatch.com – Meet an actual Matchmaker (how does one become an “actual” matchmaker unless you star in Fiddler on the Roof. Lanie claims to be the real deal and you have to make a deal with her to meet your match.

Mature-QualitySingles.com – as opposed to wanting to meet someone with no quality??

OurTime.com, a national program that is for the 50 + generation. Don’t hide behind those gray hairs or whatever color you have chosen.   Remember that 50 is the new 30, so you have no idea whom you might meet.

And finally, Berkshire Singles, found through Mingle2.com, a social networking group just for Berkshirites. It replaces the now defunct BerkshiresFlirt.com where you actually went to a place and met people in person to practice “how to get your flirt on.” So for the electronically inept, those who despise social media, those who like an actual voice as opposed to a text: Let’s all rally to get the Flirt back on and connect in real life. What a concept?

Photo: Sam Biller on Upsplash

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Susan Winston is a television producer turned psychotherapist with a private practice in Great Barrington.


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