It is summer in the city, and I spend many days with little eventful happening. In fact, there are days I feel utterly moribund—accomplishing nothing. But there are other days I do get to meet friends in Washington Square Park to talk. Still, much of the time there I sit alone on the east side of the park, right near NYU’s buildings, reading the daily paper, and observing people pass by.
The park attracts an infinite range of walkers and sitters. There are tourists taking photos, NYU students heading for class, older Villagers like myself (many with canes or walkers), local residents walking dogs of all sizes, and disheveled homeless people and drug addicts wandering about (sometimes begging—intrusive but usually not dangerous). The park can be serene early in the morning, but the rest of the day, when weather permits, cacophony reigns: jazz groups; tedious bongo drummers; buskers; acrobats; and hawkers offering pot, tarot-card readings, candy, water, and hot dogs. The park provides a rich and sometime fascinating variety show, but it also delivers a naked view of the dark underside of urban life.
When I sit in the park, I think about being 85 in a couple of weeks, and I acutely feel time passing. Too many friends and acquaintances have died—it is that time of life, and it all feels inexorable. And I know how strangers perceive me when I sit on my walker; they kindly stop and ask me if they can help me in any way. I obviously look like someone in need. It is a state of being I am trying to avoid as long as possible. An over-90 retired historian friend told me that what I need to do is handle my situation with more humor. I should learn to deflect any reference to my being an aging, fragile man with a witty retort, or a comic story.
At the moment I don’t need a great deal of help, though walking is more painful than it once was. I now must stop every block or two, when I feel pain in my left leg from spinal stenosis. It means I spend more time indoors watching news programs than I used to. Watching MSNBC, I am somewhat cheered by Kamala Harris’ energetic and assertive performance on the campaign trail. I feel there is a chance now that the dangerous and personally and politically monstrous Trump can be defeated.
It is something to which I can look forward.
