Judith Bidwell Shaw Hayes of Monterey closed her beautiful blue eyes and quietly passed away on March 30, 2023, at the age of 85. She leaves her sweet, gentle footprints on the hearts of her family and friends, whom she loved and who dearly loved her. She was married for 55 years to Arnold Hayes of Cleveland, Ohio, until his passing in March 2020. The two lived and raised their daughters in Monterey following Arnie’s retirement from the military in 1977.
Born in New York City on January 31, 1938 to Helen Bidwell Shaw and George E. Shaw, Judy grew up in Great Barrington and spent summers in Monterey at the “Slab-Shack,” her family’s cottage on Lake Garfield. She attended Searles High School in Great Barrington, then Westfield State Teachers’ College, and was teaching elementary school in New Jersey when she met her future husband who was playing in a band at a local hangout. Arnie Hayes was part of a trio from the 79th Army Band stationed in Fort Monmouth, and they connected instantly. Between sets and after his show, they talked for hours outside under the moonlight, sharing with each other their life stories and discovering much in common, including music. They wed on February 13, 1965.
While raising their daughters on military bases in Fort Monmouth, N.J.; Panama; Edgewood Arsenal, Md.; Fort Devens, Mass.; and Fort Meade, Md., Judy was a supportive military wife, and was elected president of the NCO Wives Club. Wherever the family lived, she made sure it felt like home. Once the family moved to Monterey, she worked as the Children’s Librarian at the Mason Library in Great Barrington and discovered other creative pursuits. Judy woke her daughters with song instead of an alarm clock, sang in the church choir, and joined barbershop-style singing groups (The Cobbletones/Hill and Dale Singers). She wrote poems and stories (many inspired by her first grandchild, Jesse). She studied Higher Self Yoga and astrology. She and her husband collected and sold antiques. She took art classes and found joy in creating pastel and watercolor paintings. She nurtured her vegetable gardens and discovered the cooking shows on TV and, most recently, the Monterey Library’s Cookbook Club. Judy was open-minded and open-hearted, generous, imaginative, and spiritual. She and Arnie both loved animals and could never turn away a stray in need of a home. She loved summer cocktail hour at the lake with her family, chatting and sipping a glass of merlot while watching the light change on the lake.
Judy was predeceased by her husband and her sister, Deborah Shaw. She leaves her sister, Susan Shaw Kaplan of Texas; her two daughters, Karen Hayes Traynor (and son-in-law Christopher Traynor) of Halifax, Mass. and Linda Hayes Lentz (and partner John Horrigan) of West Milford, N.J.; her son, David Smith (and wife Kimberly) of Fairhaven, N.J.; five Lentz grandchildren, Jesse (AiMei), Eric (Amanda), Ryan (fiancee Jenna), Robert, and Briana; two great-grandchildren, Blair, Hayden, and one on the way (Abigail Jade); three Smith grandchildren, Brendan (Erin), Victoria MayDawn (Joe), and Christopher (Christine); and five great-grandchildren, Charli May, Ritchie Grace, Joseph Gordon, Cooper Jackson), and Hunter Louis. She felt enormously grateful to have her family, especially finding and reuniting with her son, whom she had relinquished through adoption in 1961. In her final days, she expressed with great love and contentment that her family was everything to her and that she had been blessed with everything in life she could have ever wanted or hoped for.
Calling hours will be 9 to 11 a.m. on Saturday, April 15, followed by a memorial service celebrating her life at 11 a.m. at Finnerty and Stevens Funeral Home, 426 Main Street, Great Barrington, MA 01230.
The family welcomes donations in Judith’s name to any Monterey charitable organization (Bidwell House Museum, Food Pantry, Public Library, First Responders).
