I once knew a very charming woman from Estonia who spoke English somewhat imperfectly. One night, I ran into her at a cocktail party, where all of the attendees were having a loose and lighthearted evening.
She turned to me and said, “These people are not serious.”
In context, what she had wanted to say was that we were all having a very good time; thus, we were not being serious. She was right of course, but she expressed her thoughts in a way that was just a little imprecise. Nevertheless, her remark has stayed with me through all of the intervening years.
These people are not serious.
I am reminded of this anecdote because I took a few deep breaths and watched the entirety of the first Republican presidential primary debate on August 23. I watched because I was hoping that at least one candidate would emerge who was a slightly saner and less toxic alternative to Donald Trump. Trump himself skipped the debate to counter-program an interview with the irredeemably dishonest media weasel Tucker Carlson.
Once that interview had concluded, Trump undoubtedly went home, stood in front of a mirror, and worked on perfecting his “how dare you arrest me” scowl so that he could monetize his mug shot for his new line of MAGA merch following his surrender in Georgia. There is no event that is too personally humiliating for him not to try to publicize and profit from it.
Sadly, I was disappointed by the debate. I thought maybe Chris Christie or Asa Hutchinson might gain some momentum as the only two candidates on stage who have had the courage to call Donald Trump what he is: a multiply-indicted criminal defendant who is unfit to hold office. They were promptly and loudly booed by the live audience at the Fox News-sponsored event. Both of them might as well just pack up their lawn signs and go home; they will never receive their party’s nomination.
The other candidates were even less inspiring. They spent the evening trying to out-MAGA each other and fell all over themselves—Christie and Hutchinson notwithstanding—to drag out the old Trump playbook of isolationism, xenophobia, climate denial, conspiracy theories, blame shifting, and grievance.
Ron DeSantis tried, as always, to present as a tough guy who would rid the country of immigrants, gay and trans people, equal rights, and abortion. Vivek Ramaswamy’s main contribution was the completely whacko assertion that our own government attacked the World Trade Center on September 11. Mike Pence wanted everyone to know that he was a devout Christian, always guided by God. I don’t know where God was when Pence made a deal with the devil in 2016 and became Trump’s running mate, but perhaps he mended fences with the Almighty after Trump tried to have him killed by the MAGA mob on January 6, 2021.
As a grand finale, after attempting and failing to distinguish among themselves, all but Christie and Hutchinson indicated that they would pardon Donald Trump if he were to be convicted of the many felonies with which he has been charged. Not only that, but they would support him if he became the Republican Party’s nominee for president.
It costs a lot of money and takes a lot of spunk to run for office. It is not for the empty-of-pocket or irresolute. A successful candidate is able to inspire, enthuse, and rake in mountains of cash. Given that, in spite of his alleged criminality, Donald Trump continues to poll light years ahead of any of his challengers, they now find themselves groveling to a Republican base that couldn’t be less interested in voting for them. With few exceptions, none of these candidates are running for president: They are running for vice president—all except for Mike Pence, that is. I can’t quite figure out what Mike Pence is doing.
In short, these people are not serious.
I think we all understand at this point that, barring some unforeseen event, Donald Trump is poised to receive his party’s nomination. There is no one in the field of candidates, or within the Republican Party apparatus, who has the spine to tell the Republican base that, until they get rid of him, their party is doomed.
Until that happens, a Republican presidential primary seems entirely beside the point.
