It is difficult to reconcile the feeling of being completely disgusted while happily bathing in a warm pool of schadenfreude, but there you have it: two for the price of one, courtesy of Rudy Giuliani—one of the slimiest toads in the pond.
We already knew that Giuliani was completely unprincipled, since he was one of the chief engineers of both the stolen election charade of 2020 and the plot to overthrow democracy on January 6. We also knew he was crazy—although, compared to sidekick Sydney Powell, he didn’t seem completely insane. Powell aside, there are very few people on earth who appear to be less ethical or tethered to reality than Rudy.
Turning back the hands of time, when Rudy was still the mayor of New York City, he occasionally interacted with Donald Trump. Although they were never buddies, they had a number of character flaws in common: Both were womanizing, trash talking, boorish, opportunistic, overgrown frat boys climbing their respective ladders in the Big Apple. It was an expedient, transactional acquaintanceship between an egomaniacal politician and a self-aggrandizing con man. Money and power were their currency and holy grail.
Rudy subsequently suffered a series of setbacks, including a few expensive divorces and failed campaigns for both the United States Senate and the presidency. His star no longer ascendant, he became personal consiglieri to Trump amidst the Stormy-Daniels-hush-money and Russian-election-interference scandals of 2017.
From 2017 on, if there was a political scandal involving Trump, Rudy could be found up to his neck in bizarre media appearances. He ranted incoherently on Fox News several times a week; gave rambling interviews on other networks that were equal parts fiction and double-speak; held a now infamous press conference, erroneously, in front of Four Seasons Total Landscaping company; and participated in a notorious press conference with Sydney Powell in which hair dye ran in rivulets down his face as he told nonsensical tales of voting machines controlled by long-deceased Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez.
It was a clown car, and he was the designated driver.
We all know how the story ended. His allegations of a stolen election were dismissed in a variety of jurisdictions on more than 60 different occasions because he provided no evidence. His planned January 6 insurrection, after causing trauma and harm throughout the Capitol, resulted in hundreds of subsequent arrests and convictions of Trump’s deranged foot soldiers. Giuliani has been subpoenaed for testimony in a number of ongoing investigations into Trump’s efforts to remain in power, and it is assumed that both he and Trump, among others, are targets of those investigations.
As a grand finale, Rudy’s number one client stiffed him on his way out of the White House. No one knows better than Giuliani how much Donald Trump hates to pay his bills.
Although Giuliani has yet to be officially disbarred, his complete lack of professional integrity has resulted in his law license being suspended indefinitely, and it appears that actual disbarment is now right around the corner. It’s pathetic.
Fast forward: Noelle Dunphy, an assistant to Mr. Giuliani from 2019 to 2021, filed a civil lawsuit on May 15 alleging that he repeatedly and violently subjected her to sexual assault; forced her to work in the nude or clad in short-shorts imprinted with the American flag; demanded oral sex from her while he was speaking to friends and clients on the phone; instructed her to lie to the FBI; and asked her to peddle back-door presidential pardons for $2 million apiece, the fee to be equally divided between him and Trump.
Ms. Dunphy has asserted that she can substantiate her claims with audio recordings of Mr. Giuliani. She is suing him for $10 million.
Given Giuliani’s completely whacko behavior over the course of the past six years, it would not be surprising if he did all of the things alleged by Ms. Dunphy, and the court may find in Ms. Dunphy’s favor, but only time will tell. Other potential state and federal criminal charges of a very serious nature may also be forthcoming. In fact, it has been reported that Rudy may be cooperating with Special Counsel Jack Smith in an effort to mitigate his own exposure to prosecution.
Since Giuliani is a first-rate fabulist, one wonders whether Mr. Smith will find value in anything he has to say. Undoubtedly, Mr. Giuliani hopes that Trump will prevail in November of 2024, an ace-in-the-hole so that, if he is indicted and convicted, he can request a presidential pardon. But given his current financial straits and the mounting legal fees that are likely to bankrupt him, one wonders where on earth he will find the $2 million to pay for it.
