Hello to all of the rotten Dems and Communists and Traitors who are destroying America! It is 3 AM, which is when all of my best thinking happens because I passed a thinking test that proves I can Recognize a Picture of an Elephant. My doctors told me this was very hard to do, but I got 100 per cent! They were amazed. They told me I am the Only One who has ever had a perfect score on this test. ALL presidents should have to take this test every 3 or 4 days, just like I do, so they can prove that no one is as smart as Trump! Sleepy Joe Biden wouldn’t know an elephant if it sat on his lap.
I am so healthy that I don’t even need to sleep at night because of my Strength and Stamina, so all I have to do is blink a lot during the day to get my energy back! Some of the blinks are shorter, some of the blinks are longer, but all of the Liars in the Lamestream Media keep saying that I am sleeping in meetings, which is FAKE NEWS! I am not sleeping. I am just resting my eyes with my head tilted to one side and saliva coming out of my mouth, which is what it looks like when you rest your eyes.
The bruises on my hands are another hoax of the Radical Lunatic Left, just like the hoax of my swollen ankles. My ankles are not swollen at all—they are just muscular! This is because I play a lot of golf and when you golf, you have to stand up to hit the ball. That is why my ankles are very muscular and look so big and strong! If everyone golfed as much as I do, then they would have Big, Strong Ankles, too!
My hand is bruised because so many people want to shake my Hand, which is also Very Large and Strong, and everyone wants to shake it. They say, “Sir, may I shake Your Hand,” and then they just grab, and shake, shake, shake. And then they say, “You have such Big, Strong Hands, Sir!” and then they shake my hand again and again. All day long, just shaking. Also, I take a lot of aspirin due to my strong, thick blood because I like nice, thin blood, so I take double the amount of aspirin that I am supposed to take so I can have extra-thin blood! It’s like having nice warm water to rinse my veins.
And I want to say Hello to all of the Brave Agents of ICE who are working very hard in all of the S-Hole blue states. ICE is terrific! They are Patriots who are helping to Make America Great Again by deporting the vermin and killing terrorists disguised as mothers who are driving their children to school and need to be shot through the head to save our Beautiful Country. Thank you, ICE!
Tonight, I am announcing that we will be taking over Cuba and Greenland and probably a few other countries in about two weeks because when I tell countries to hand themselves over to me, I am Not Kidding. As Pete says, FAFO! I offered to buy Greenland, but Denmark wouldn’t sell, so FAFO! The Cubans were in business with Venezuela, so FAFO! We’ll probably FAFO Canada, too, because I took out my Sharpie and renamed it CanaDon since it will be a very large state that is dedicated to me because I am a peacemaker who was robbed of my Nobel Prize by some horseface in Venezuela named Maria McMuffin who is Not My Type, although she gave me her Nobel medal so I could pretend that I won it, but she isn’t Popular enough to have the Respect of the People of Venezuela, which wasn’t even a good country until I bombed it on behalf of Standard Oil, which is the Donroe Doctrine. So when I say FAFO, I mean FAFO!
And now you can buy your own red FAFO hat at my online Trump Enrichment Center, which is the best MAGA merchandise site, where you can also buy my Trump Bible because Jesus saved me from Death in a Cornfield which proves that God made me Invincible, just like the Supreme Court! You should buy my Bible for your children so they will become Good Christians like Trump! You can also buy Trump Perfume, Trump Watches, Trump Sneakers, Trump Air Freshener, and many other Trump items to put in your Trump Display Case, which is on sale for only a short Time, so you should buy it right away, along with some of Melania’s bitcoin.
I will have a Big Mac and a McFlurry now to build my energy for more Truthing, because McDonald’s is very good fuel for my hard work of talking a lot. After my Snack I will Truth again to discuss other Important News, including a big announcement about covfefe, because Bobby K. thinks raw milk is better.
America Frist!
