Great Barrington — The following dispatch was received yesterday, February 2:
Housatonic Hal (a squirrel who thinks he is a groundhog) made his yearly appearance today that included a meeting with Deputy Jim Mead at Pleasant and Main over a cup of coffee. Hal woke up early and had a phone conversation with as he put it “his crazy cousin Punxsutawney Phil.” Phil predicted six more weeks of winter, which Hal agreed with. Hal explained to the Deputy that “Winter never really started – sure it has been cold, but a true winter has been lacking. You know as tradition will have it, living in the Berkshires it either will get you on the front end or the back end. This year winter will last deep into March. Besides, with the GOAT Tom Brady now retired and not in the Super Bowl, is there a reason to even come out of winter?” The Deputy didn’t know what to say other than the questionable “Pitchers and Catchers?”
Hal left their meeting and headed south, stopping to purchase some football squares along the way. As luck would have it, he got 2 & 9, the Deputy’s badge number. He shook his head and thought only if the Vikings were in it. From there Hal walked past Housatonic’s newest business Extra Special Teas and thought that is a place he will have to check out when he comes out of hibernation later in the spring.
Hal wandered south down 183 and into the Great Barrington Station where he was not surprised to see Chief Burger working away. In true Housy fashion, Hal busted into the Chief’s office, not even bothering to notice the chief was on a zoom meeting – “Hal don’t care.” He said: “Charlie, can I call you Charlie??? Never mind, let’s keep it formal… Chief we need to talk..” Hal explained to Chief Burger that he was very nervous, the last few years we have been so fortunate with the good folks in Great Barrington keeping their open burning in check, but was very afraid that the luck was going to run out. He said “me and my friends can’t lose our homes. Inflation and the market is so high, we will never find a place to live.”
Chief Burger calmed Hal down and said not to worry, that he was confident that everyone was going to follow all of the rules and regulations of burning brush, and said that if anyone had any questions they can refer to one of our previous Facebook posts or call the station and ask. This made Hal feel better and he asked for a ride back to Housatonic. The Chief was busy, but Great Barrington Police Officer Stolzar was able to do a courtesy transport.
Hal’s February business was complete, and with his prediction of a late spring and his football squares in hand he headed back to his apartment (a burrow) underneath Monument Mills and went back to sleep.
Call us if you need us, we’ll be here for you!
