Great Barrington — When a loved one dies, the surviving family members often feel unprepared. Grief and confusion rush in to fill the empty space. The mourners are overwhelmed by the need to make decisions regarding burial or cremation. The logistics of loss can swamp the deep feelings and memories of the deceased that come unmediated from all directions. To make things even more difficult, people have often not clarified their own beliefs regarding the spiritual aspects of loss, so that when the death occurs, they don’t have a sense of what is right for them and what their loved one would have wanted.
Traditionally, in the Jewish community, the Hevra Kadisha or Burial Society, steps in to serve the deceased and the family of mourners in the time between death and burial, generally a period of 24 hours. For several decades, in the absence of a Jewish funeral home, there was no Hevra Kadisha in Southern Berkshire County. In 2012, the South Berkshire Community Hevra Kadisha was formed under the auspices of RIMON (see www.rimonberkshires.org) in collaboration with Finnerty and Stevens Funeral Home in Great Barrington. Any Jewish family can seek the services of the Burial Society by contacting Rabbi Kaya Stern-Kaufman of RIMON or expressing their wishes through Finnerty and Stevens.
When the Hevra Kadisha is contacted, volunteers, called shomrim, take turns sitting vigil with the body of the deceased until burial or cremation. Psalms, prayers and poetry are read aloud by the shomrim. It is a great comfort to the family to know that their loved one is being honored in this way by continuous prayerful presence.
During this transitional time, after death and before burial, trained members of the Burial Society will provide a ritual of physical and spiritual cleansing for the deceased. This ritual, called tahara, means purification and is performed in reverent silence, interspersed with prayers, and with the utmost care to preserve the dignity of the deceased throughout the process. Women are attended to by a women’s team and men are attended to by a men’s team. After cleansing, the tahara team will dress the deceased in a traditional shroud and place the deceased into a casket.
In my work as a Hospice chaplain, I attended many people in their last days and tried to support families anticipating loss. Sometimes, these were truly holy encounters where everyone present felt the sacred power of transition from earth to another plane. Sometimes, the families arranged for beautiful, heartfelt funeral services. Still, the time between death and burial was unaccounted for. There seemed to be a period of time when the deceased, so loved in life and so honored at the time of burial, was not attended, when the flow of spirit was interrupted. There seemed to be a period when the dignity of the deceased was not fully respected, when the preparation for burial was not addressed prayerfully.
In retrospect, having access to the services of a burial society would have been so comforting for me when my mother and father died. It has been deeply meaningful to serve in the South Berkshire Community Hevra Kadisha. When I have participated in a tahara, I have felt a wordless connection to the deceased even though I didn’t know her in life. I have felt entwined in a special relationship with the other members of the Hevra Kadisha and a new understanding of the journey of life into death.
To arrange for the services of the South Berkshire Community Hevra Kadisha or to inquire about volunteering for this sacred work, call RIMON at (413) 274-1034. More information about this work is also available at www.rimonberkshires.org.
