Since my first Ask Jenny column came out, I have people asking me questions everywhere I go now.
Someone who knows me very well asked me how do you stop harming yourself and others? Why do we harm others or allow them to harm us? This person knows my past life and how I’ve harmed and been harmed over and over again in my life. This was my response:
Harm I believe is a learned cycle or behavior. I believe you/I can break this behavior by changing how we treat each other. Think about how it feels when you’ve been harmed.
I look back at my life and think about this cycle of being harmed and harming others and what it has put me through and others through and it will only continue unless I stop this behavior.
It is really hard for most of us to change because we’ve been hurt, beaten, sexually assaulted, abandoned by important family figures. We’ve been emotionally abused and hurt people we love and they’ve hurt us.
How do you stop being the victim and victimizing others? First, you forgive them– and yourself — for yourself so they no longer have power  over you. You let it go, you make peace within and heal your heart and soul. Let your walls down and let good people into your life, people who only serve you and treat you with love and compassion. You deserve it.
Now, what about the ones we have harmed? How do we ever fix what we have done because it’s done? How do we prove that we have changed? How many sorry’s can you say? How do we have people trust us again? How do we stop harming?
I believe it comes from within, knowing you no longer want to repeat this cycle over and over again, wanting instead to right your wrongs, make amends, and be there to offer a helping hand, show compassion to all, pay it forward, buy someone a coffee. It’s the little and simple things that will slowly start breaking our cycle of harm.
This is a behavior that needs to be broken by all. Why harm yourself and why harm others? We are all here in this together; we need each other; we need community. We need to start living in a way that everywhere we go we spread compassion, love, peace, kind words, smiles, help each other and just be as One. Remember, we don’t come with life manuals and we all live the best way we know how.
Ask Jenny: You can email me at loveanlight80@gmail.com.
