Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump railing against having former slave and abolitionist Harriet Tubman on the $20 bill.

On Politics: The latest monsters

Donald Trump already looks and acts very like an animated character drawn by Stan Lee. Bernie Sanders, likewise, seems like something that stepped from the pages of a DC comic.

Monterey — Back when I was a kid, movies were shown on Saturdays in the auditorium at The Floral Park-Bellerose School. Hard to believe, but one thin dime bought a full day’s admission to reel after reel of the unreal. If you had a quarter, the powers that were threw in a small brown bag of popcorn and Dixie Cup of red liquid, that we called, ‘bug juice’. Quite a bargain given that it was a time when many didn’t even own a television. And, even though my family did, us kids weren’t permitted access except for once yearly The Wizard of Oz, Peter Pan, Alice in Wonderland.

Godzilla in a scene from the film 'Godzilla VS. The Smog Monster', 1971. Toho/Getty Images
Godzilla in a scene from the film ‘Godzilla VS. The Smog Monster’, 1971. Toho/Getty Images

Seeing anything on a screen was a special treat that, in part, explains why fifty kids were willing to sit inside for the better part of the best day of the week (from the child’s p.o.v.) to what were fairly dated movies. Occasionally they showed us Westerns, but mostly the offerings were of the Monster variety. Hard to say how the projectionists (whoever they invisibly were) obtained these, but suffice it to say, these were not first-run films. They weren’t second-run ones either. Having grown up, now I know the term, ‘Grade B movies’. Most of the things we saw were a lot further down the alphabet than that. Grade L, perhaps? Still, we were a rapt and willing audience even though the special effects being used were anything but either special or even effects. What was flickering before our eyes on celluloid often depicted cities with what looked a lot like the things my brothers built with Erector Sets. The Monsters themselves were often much like the plastic toys shaped into dinosaurs or robots that might have come in a box of Corn flakes or Cracker Jacks.

Maybe we liked that aspect of things. These movies weren’t quite funny yet. We were too young to appreciate irony. They weren’t actually scary either. Although once, my older, more sensitive, brother did become upset as a gaggle of Bogeymen trooped across the screen. The creatures were outfitted in ape costumes with diving bell helmets in lieu of Simian heads. Still, when they appeared, he became distressed and rose to leave. I called after him: “Wait…I can see the zippers on the back of their suits.” And he sat back down.

The movies we watched were easy to relate to, almost as if we had been filmed in our own back yards, mucking about with pals, everyone bringing along what figures, dolls, blocks, toy soldiers we happened to have, making up stories as we went along. Thinking back, the plot lines of those Monster Marathons proceeded with similar screen writing prowess.

U.S. Sen. Bernie Sanders.
U.S. Sen. Bernie Sanders.

Watching the presidential primary and pre-election process has reminded me a lot of those Saturday morning monster movies. You’re sitting and watching it, entertained in spite of yourself. You can’t believe that any of it is real and it’s almost funny. But here’s the difference, this time I’m scared. Even though I can see the zippers on the back of the costumes, and a lot of other folks seem to as well, it proceeds. Maybe some wish to pretend that what some candidates are presenting is true, taking “…a willing suspension of disbelief…” too far.

It’s perhaps also a stretch to embrace the commonality between two of the candidates, disparate though they may seem. But Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders have this in common: neither of them really believed that they would get this far. I’m starring at an old math textbook in my mind and looking at the intersection of these two circles. The part of the Venn Diagram that holds both Trump and Sanders could be labeled: ego intoxication.

Looping back to Monster movies, there was one that came later in this oeuvre, Godzilla vs Meganulon. Godzilla was forever having to take on formidable foes, the way that Wyatt Earp had to keep proving himself as a gunslinger. This picture had the big lizard pitted against an under-sea, insect-esque deity. Theater goers rooted for one or the other in a way that confused me. OK, Godzilla was a sort of homegrown monster and Meganulon was from the under world, but really, who was a hero here? It wasn’t going too good for the humans either way.

It’s not that much of an allegory since Donald Trump already looks and acts very like an animated character drawn by Stan Lee. Bernie Sanders, likewise, seems like something that stepped from the pages of a DC comic. The entire plot might have been something Tom Wolfe penned, in his white suit. As interesting and amusing as it’s been, isn’t it time to consider who might be prepared for the job of president? Not who slings the best insults, acts the most outrageous, or even has the best intentions, but the most experience? Whom do you select, after all, for the person who will, say, deliver your newborn? An entertaining buffoon/bully doing an imitation of Mussolini trying to resurrect the McCarthy Era? The aging Hippie with lofty dreams and very limited empirical data backing up suppositions? Don’t we want to select someone who has grit, who is proven to be able under fire?

It’s not fair to lump Sanders in with Trump. At the outset, Bernie Sanders was jones-ing for things to improve for others, not just his own interests. He is not given to temper tantrums or expletive driven tirades in an attempt to roll over others, flatten and destroy anyone who thwarts his latest uttering without thought for consequences. But Sanders is ignoring some pretty serious consequences. Like Ralph Nader before him in the 2000 campaign between George W. Bush and Al Gore, Sanders is undercutting the very constituency he claims to seek to support, give voice to, and empower. And for his unwillingness to recognize that he has done his job in amplifying the voices of those we had not heard from loudly enough, bravo. But staying now is serving something else. Possibly his own needs — which is disappointing and possibly much worse than that.

Because what happens next isn’t going to be like those old Saturday mornings at the monster movie marathons. We won’t be able to go home afterwards and know that the whole thing was just pretend. These latest monsters of narcissism are marauding about drunk on the fact that they gotten this far. And they have gotten this far because we let them. We have been mesmerized by their audacious shenanigans and familiar false promises, and even further from the point of living in these United States.

The point being…yes, what is that point? Anyone remember? Freedom of religion. Yep. That was how it started folks. Those pilgrims wanted to be able to practice their faith without oppression. All the other stuff came later. The next time you hear someone say: “In this Christian country of ours….” uh…no. All religions. Any religion. No religion. All beliefs. All points of view. All proclivities that do not invade or hurt others. That was the point. People who endeavor to distract us from these truths we used to hold as self evident, well, they are the latest monsters. Let’s not keep watching this old movie.